I'm not an expert on this but I've been through this stage especially when my relationship of 5 years ended. I've got a few friends recently ended their relationships with their partners and most of them were cheated by their partner. I normally don't know what to say to them in person.
Guess this is what I can do to help them to at least feel better.
It's hurting you crazily I know. Especially in the night time. You kept thinking about how happy you were, kept thinking about how your ex spending their happy time with their current partner. You kept thinking about all the things that you did for your ex and kept questioning about how can they turn their back to you and leave just like that. How can they change so fast and live so happily with their new partner like nothing happens. You're angry cz you've contributed so much to the relationship. You gave them almost everything!! You loved him/her more than yourself! You stalk their FB page hoping to see some sad status and if they don't, you get mad. You kept checking your whatsapp or mailbox hoping that they still care about you. You called them in the midnight telling them that you press the wrong buttons etc hoping that they will talk to you and you guys will get back together. You told them you will change and you guys just need to work things out together.
I know it hurts. And I can't just tell you to move on just like that! Cz they used to stand a huge part in your life. You both do everything almost together. You talk about dreams together, gossip together, achieve your dreams together, countless promises.
But...you have to let go.
You have to love yourself more.
Get a tub of ice cream, cry out loud and forget about the calories.
Set a time frame for yourselves to be sad.
If it's a week, spend a whole week sad to the max. Cry to the max. Cz u can't do it anymore right after the week.
Here's something that you can do.
1) Pick up a hobby
If you already have one, do it. And keep doing it. Doing things that you love make you happy. If you don't have any yet, find one! Be it swimming, playing tennis, watching your favorite drama, reading books (helps the most) and etc.
2) Write down your feelings.
Writting your feelings help to release your feelings. Sometimes it's hard to talk to ppl. Not every understands you. You're the only one understand yourself the most. Writing down your feelings help to control your emotions as well. At least, it helps to stop you from calling your ex telling them how much you miss them.
3) Plan a trip
Traveling helps to speed up the healing process. When you're out of the country, you see more things! And soon you will realize that the world is so beautiful that you don't want to miss any moments being sad.
I have a friend travel by herself, alone and I can see that it helps a lot. So, go travel! Go out and see the world!
4) Shopping! The so called retail therapy!
Dress yourself up! Follow your heart! Turn yourself into a stunning bitch! Shine the world! When you look good, eventually you will be more confident! And when you're confident, you will be more happy!
5) Meet new ppl
Go all the way out to meet new ppl! Don't by shy! I was really shy but I told myself I need to do that cz firstly it kills my time, secondly it's a chance to prove that I still have the market wtf! Trust me. Meeting new ppl makes you feel brand new! And sometimes, it's actually better to talk to ppl that u've just met.
6) Surround yourself with positive people, positive things, positive event!
Stop listening to sad songs! Cz it will not help. It will make you feel even worst. Surround yourself with ppl that you love and ppl who love you! Your friends and family! And most importantly, ppl who r positive!
The healing process takes time. Don't rush it but go along with it.
Be happy when you're happy! Cry out loud when you're sad!
Let everything out.
It takes time but it's 100% possible.
You just need to focus on what's happening right now and appreciate them!
Learn from the past, appreciate the present, create the future.
And most importantly, don't be afraid to fall in love again! You wouldn't have the chance to see a double rainbow without heavy rain :)
Read here to understand more about the stages of break up.
You will feel better if you know what might be happening next!
When my past relationship ended, i read a lot of articles and books! And i learned a lot and now turned into a different person. A much mature person.
If i can do it, you can do it as well!
Dear my love,